February 28, 2012


From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 2.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Logo Design

Hello David,

I would like to catch up as I am working on a really exciting
project at the moment and need a logo designed. Basically
something representing peer to peer networking. I have to have
something to show prospective clients this week so would you
be able to pull something together in the next few days?
I will also need a couple of pie charts done for a 1 page
website. If the deal goes ahead there will be some good
money in it for you.

Simon

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 3.52pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon,

Disregarding the fact that you have still not paid me for work
I completed earlier this year despite several assertions that
you would do so, I would be delighted to spend my free time
creating logos and pie charts for you based on further vague
promises of future possible payment. Please find attached
pie chart as requested and let me know of any changes required.

Regards, David.




This is old (09) but if you haven't seen it before, it’s an accurate
and funny insight into the dynamics of creative / client relationships.
(Maybe it's just designers that are difficult?)


From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 4.11pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Logo Design


Is that supposed to be a fucking joke? I told you the previous
projects did not go ahead. I invested a lot more time and energy
in those projects than you did. If you put as much energy into
the projects as you do being a dickhead you would be a lot
more successful.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 5.27pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design


Dear Simon,

You are correct and I apologise. Your last project was actually
both commercially viable and original. Unfortunately the part
that was commercially viable was not original, and the part that
was original was not commercially viable.

I would no doubt find your ideas more 'cutting edge' and original
if I had traveled forward in time from the 1950's but as it stands,
your ideas for technology based projects that have already been put
into application by other people several years before you thought
of them fail to generate the enthusiasm they possibly deserve.
Having said that though, if I had traveled forward in time,
my time machine would probably put your peer to peer networking
technology to shame as not only would it have commercial viability,
but also an awesome logo and accompanying pie charts.

Regardless, I have, as requested, attached a logo that represents
not only the peer to peer networking project you are currently
working on, but working with you in general.

Regards, David.



From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 11.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

You just crossed the line. You have no idea about the potential this
project has. The technology allows users to network peer to peer,
add contacts, share information and is potentially worth many millions
of dollars and your short sightedness just cost you any chance
of being involved.

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 1.36pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon,
So you have invented Twitter. Congratulations. This is where that
time machine would definitely have come in quite handy.

When I was about twelve, I read that time slows down when
approaching the speed of light so I constructed a time machine
by securing my father's portable generator to the back of my mini-bike
with rope and attaching the drive belt to the back wheel. Unfortunately,
instead of traveling through time and finding myself in the future,
I traveled about fifty metres along the footpath at 200mph before
finding myself in a bush. When asked by the nurse filling out the
hospital accident report "Cause of accident?" I stated 'time travel
attempt' but she wrote down 'stupidity'.

If I did have a working time machine, the first thing I would do is
go back four days and tell myself to read the warning on the hair
removal cream packaging where it recommends not using on sensitive areas.

I would then travel several months back to warn myself against
agreeing to do copious amounts of design work for an old man wielding
the business plan equivalent of a retarded child poking itself in the
eye with a spoon, before finally traveling back to 1982 and explaining
to myself the long term photographic repercussions of going to the
hairdresser and asking for a haircut exactly like Simon LeBon's
the day before a large family gathering.

Regards, David.

From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 3.29pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

You really are a fucking idiot and have no idea what you are talking
about. The project I am working on will be more successful than
twitter within a year. When I sell the project for 40 million dollars
I will ignore any emails from you begging to be a part of it
and will send you a postcard from my yaght. Ciao.

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 3.58pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design





From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.10pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Anyone else would be able to see the opportunity I am presenting
but not you. You have to be a fucking smart arse about it.
All I was asking for was a logo and a few pie charts which would
have taken you a few fucking hours.

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.25pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon

Actually, you were asking me to design a logotype which would have
taken me a few hours and fifteen years experience. For free.
With pie charts. Usually when people don't ask me to design them
a logo, pie charts or website, I, in return, do not ask them to paint
my apartment, drive me to the airport, represent me in court or whatever
it is they do for a living. Unfortunately though, as your business model
consists entirely of "Facebook is cool, I am going to make a website
just like that", this non exchange of free services has no foundation
as you offer nothing of which I wont ask for.

Regards, David.

From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.43pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

What the fuck is your point? Are you going to do the logo and charts for me or not?

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.02pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design



From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.13pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Do not ever email me again.

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.19pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Ok. Good luck with your project. If you need anything let me know.
Regards, David.

From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.27pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Get fucked.